Who’s the Boss?

This tiny, little creature is Akiane (pronounced “ah key on ah”). I call her Mommie most of the time because she, along with the amazing (now-departed) Diggity Dog, has given me 16 beautiful grandpuppies. Mommie is about 500 pounds of fierce, rolled into about 5 pounds of preciousness.

Despite her tiny frame, there’s no doubt who runs things around here. That’s right, this smidgen of a dog absolutely dominates me all day long. Of course, being a chihuahua (pronounced “chi-wow-wow” around here), she’s obsessively faithful and loyal. I have no doubt that she would do her best and defend me to her death against any threat I might face…

Because of this pint-sized canine, I have lost any claim to the part of my anatomy between my hips and knees that exists only when I am sitting; I wouldn’t be surprised at all to find an image of my Mommie along side the definition of “lapdog” in any dictionary. My laptop computer has become a kneetop device in order to accommodate the queen on her preferred throne. And just to be sure that she knows that I know that I have the privilege of typing (instead of petting or otherwise devoting my attention to her) only because she allows it, she positions herself so that her head rests on one or the other of my wrists.

There’s more to her domination than taking over my lap; she must be on some part of me at all times (unless she is making the rounds to remind My Sweetheart that he is also hers). Mommie is there to assure me that she is in charge even when there is no lap in which she can lounge. When I get on my hands and knees to check for stray beads in my crafting area, this is how she reminds me who’s the boss:

Mommie on my neck

Yes, it’s a little embarrassing…

Of course, Mommie knows that if she wants to remain in power she has to trust her advisors and follow their recommendations on certain subjects. To that end, she’s a reasonably obedient chihuahua (except for knowing when the heck to zip her lip) and lets me pretend to be the one who makes most of our decisions. Anyone who really knows us, however, knows better.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Craigslist: Less Love Than Hate

I know I have posted that I love craigslist for the freebies. I love the site for its deals, too. No, I really don’t. I love it for the idea of its deals, but the fact is that I’ve never been in on a craigslist transaction through which I didn’t walk away feeling as though I had been shafted. That’s just on purchases.

When it comes to selling, I have had a mountain of luck the size of a pin head. I educate myself on the TOS and the prohibited items, carefully select every word of my ad, include attractive and relevant photos, contact info, the whole 9 yards. Once posted, my ads have one of two results: flagged into oblivion within the hour or they sit without response until the end of time. It’s re-effen-tarded and I feel re-effen-tarded for trying to post anything EVERY TIME I publish a new listing on that stupid site.

Here’s my latest (Please tell me what you would say might make this listing unworthy of publication on such an esteemed marketplace as craigslist):

Your Chihuahua Puppy is Waiting for You Here – $250 (Love Field/Design District)

Three 7-week old chihuahua pups (2 males/1female) ready to start their new “job” providing companionship, unconditional love and tons of happiness right away.

This will be the last litter our chihuahuas will have and they are the most attractive of all the puppies we’ve had to offer. Because every person who meets the parents of these fiesty little marvels falls head-over-heels for them, all of our litters have been conceived by special request. All of our litters have been born with their new families already waiting for them. The families intended for this last trio have been unable to honor their commitments to these wonderful, cuddly and fiercely loyal little dogs. Now these little love-pups need you and they can’t wait to shower you with puppy-love!

Ideal companions for empty-nesters or any primarily adult household, your chihuahua will guarantee you will never be lonely as long as your little guy or girl is around to entertain you.

A re-homing fee of $250 for the boys and $300 for the female (she is the absolute cutest chihuahua I’ve ever laid eyes on) covers the cost of vet care for Mommie and the costs incurred as well as other aspects of the puppies’ care until they are received by their new families. The puppies will arrive at their new homes, ready to get to work, with a new job starter kit consisting of a toy, puppy food, potty pads and other goodies.

Please don’t keep my grandpuppies waiting. They are all ready to meet you and get busy filling your life with joy!

Please call (my sweetheart) or Kate at (phone number here) to arrange to pick up your love pup right away!

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I could add a ton more photos of these cuties, but these are the three I posted on CL.

Feedback is greatly appreciated… Especially if you are in the market for a love pup!