He’s a Sweetheart and I’m an A-hole.

I signed off yesterday with a plan: “Today I capture; tomorrow I post.” My plan went to poop even before I was off the computer. I thought that the light-headed, queazy, “UGH” feeling I was experiencing was just my nerves rattling at the thought of posting up some “before” photos of my apartment. When my normally-strong constitution fluttered over the thought of how much gristle I would encounter if I tried to eat an elephant, I realized I was in for an afternoon in a dark, cold, quiet room. I went straight from WordPress to bed and stayed there, with a migraine, until very early this morning. I have struggled with it most of today as well.

As I was settling myself into bed, I mentioned to my sweetheart that I had been intending to take some photos to post on here. I think he may have been concerned by that intention because as I struggled with my head, my dearest took the time and effort to tidy up behind himself around the apartment. Now you know why I call him “my sweetheart.”

I rewarded his efforts by picking a fight with him and acting like an a-hole in general. When our argument reached the nothing-else-to-say stage he went to the bedroom and, out-of-the-blue, started decluttering the entertainment center I’m planning to repurpose into a wardrobe. I went to bed and pretended to play a game on my phone while I watched him work.

I’m not sure why I was a jerk when I woke up, but I know I still haven’t apologized and I feel horrible about it. I think I’m going to go make up with him, if he’ll let me off the hook. Then I’ll serve him some cornbread and the stew I’ve been simmering all morning.

One thing I do know about my purpose is that I’m supposed to make my man’s life easier, not harder. I need to tend to that more than I need to take pictures of my clutter.